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Cutting Out the Noise, Say “No”

April 4, 2020
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I used to say “Yes” to most people when they are asking for help. Coming from an Asian background, it was very very difficult to say “No”.

Saying “Yes” to everyone and trying to please everyone will cause us to become overwhelmed and therefore, it may affect our future.

Many of us say yes to things because we eager to please and make a difference. Yet the key to making our highest contribution may well be saying “No”.

I believe we are more effective if we say “No” often, because we will have more time and resources to say “Yes” to things that really matters.

To eliminate the noise means saying “No” to someone. Often, it means pushing against social expectation. To do it well takes courage and compassion. So cutting out the noise isn’t just about mental discipline. It’s about the emotional discipline necessary to say no to people who try to pressurise us.

In reality, we can’t choose to do everything. The real question is not how can we do it all, it is who will get to choose what we do and don’t do. If we fail to realise that we have a right to choose, someone else will choose for us. So we can either choose what not to do or allow ourselves to be pulled into something we do not want to do or go.

Learning to say “No” will eliminate a lot of noise, thus earning us the time necessary to achieve what really matter to us, our ultimate goal and family.

Now, give it a go and let me know what you think.

Six Anti-Success Habits

August 13, 2019
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Discussing about success habits. There are good ones that you can add to your life. But there are also some anti-success habits. Things that will be a barrier to success if you don’t get rid of them. 

And, of course, the main reason why you might be behaving in a counterproductive way is that you’re not aware of it. So, it’s important to really think hard. Do I do these things? At least maybe sometimes. So, what might these failure habits be? 

Well, the list could be huge. But I’d like to single out six that I think are common and really damaging which you may not realise.

Being Negative

Negative thinking and negative statements. This habit will certainly hold you back. You’ll reject ideas that could’ve been useful. You’ll become discouraged when things aren’t going as easy as you’d like, and you’ll make other people less keen to work with you. 

Negative people is an energy drainer, they suck all the positive energy out of us to fuel their relentless hunger for negativity, leaving us drained, exhausted, and unhappy. 

We all know people who are negative, and I think you’d agree, they’ll never get anywhere being like that. The only question is whether you sometimes can be negative in some situations. 

No matter how bad you think your situation is, you can still be thankful for what you have – whether that’s your health, your family, or simply the fact that you’re alive on this amazing planet. 

Keep a positive attitude and surround yourself with positive people who leave you feeling upbeat and energized. In the words of Zig Ziglar says, “The healthiest of all human emotions is gratitude.”

Worry

Worry is a version of fear. And, if you let your fears control you too much, then it will have a similar effect to being negative. You won’t even start on a road toward succeeding at something. 

FEAR is the acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. Mostly, there is no true threat and immediate physical danger or the loss of someone or something dear to us.

You won’t take the necessary risks, and you won’t ask for help when you need it. Third is resistance to advice. Trying to do it all yourself and refusing to listen to people who have good logical arguments and facts. 

It can even result in lack of learning and failure to gain the skills that you need. Clearly, it’s much easier to succeed if you have other people to help you. And that means letting them help you. And being humble enough to ask them for their views and to really listen. 

Talking Too Much

It’s such a tempting habit to talk all the time instead of listening. But it will hold your success back. Listening to others improve relationships in personal and professional lives, as people tend to like those who listen to them.

It’s no excuse to say, if you are a chatty person is a habit, you can change it. Become a great listener instead and you’ll learn more and be liked more. Never let your voice be the one echoing in your head after a conversation. 

Being a good listener is similar to having good manners. It’s a quality that doesn’t seem to be a social requirement any longer, but if you practice it, it sets you apart from the crowd and makes others gravitate toward you.

Being Aggressive

Aggression includes everything from assuming that other people are bound to be wrong, to being impatient, rude, interrupting, criticizing, being loud and refusing to listen to or respect other people’s point of view. 

The key is to think about the other person’s position, as well as your own. They have equal rights and they probably have good reasons for what they’re saying and doing. So, make it a habit to hold yourself back and give them a chance. 

Playing the Victim

I think that many people who are difficult are psychological games players. Particularly those who play the victim in order to manipulate others. 

They choose a victim role in order to ask for help or to get sympathy. Or to be able to make mistakes and get away with it. Or to blame others who have it easier. But in the end, being a victim is not going to make them successful. But often, they’re not aware of it. 

And they end up sabotaging their own efforts, as well as destroying their relationships with other people. So their victim position becomes a reality and they don’t really know why. So if you feel that life is unfair or that you’re often the victim of other people’s behavior, this could be a sign that you’re in a games playing loop.

You can get out of it once you know that you’re doing it. So please do investigate this games playing and try to eradicate this failure habit. 

So is there a bad habit that you have? Are you sometimes a big negative? Do you worry too much? Are you not as good as you could be about taking advice from other people? Do you tend to talk a bit much? Are you sometimes a bit aggressive? Let’s call it overly assertive. And do you sometimes play games? Particularly the temptation to play the victim?

Tell me what you think and comments below.

The Retirement Challenge

July 19, 2019
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Have you started planning for your retirement?

If you’re saddled with piles of student debt, credit card bills, or a stagnant income, retirement’s an almost impossible concept to understand, let alone plan for. But even if you’re young, it’s super important that you understand retirement and start structuring your life to build for it. 

But just so you understand, the retirement I’m talking about is not the one you see in ads from fancy Wall Street banks. You know the ones, with the healthy looking man standing on the deck, watching the sun set over the water, beachfront vista, giving a knowing nod to his well-preserved wife. That idea of retirement was built for baby boomers. 

It’s based around nine-to-five jobs with companies that offered upward mobility, low-cost healthcare, inexpensive education, and a pension, and retirement at 65. Unfortunately, the world has changed, work has changed, costs have changed, demographics have changed, and most importantly, the risks have changed.

You can no longer rely on social security or a company pension to figure this all out. It’s now up to you. So, now what? Well, the secret lies in the way that you think about money and your day-to-day habits. Even if you’re living in a cramped apartment with roommates and earning subsistence wages, there’s still things that you can do to start preparing for a healthy financial life and a fruitful retirement, whatever they may look like. 

Another big thing to consider is the rate of change over the past 40 years. You have to assume that in your working life you’ll also see significant changes. Be prepared to have a few different careers or maybe a side hustle or your own business. Flexible work is great for bosses and the bottom-line of companies, but terrible for individuals when you don’t have income coming in regularly. 

Know that the only constant is change and that there are no future facts, but one day, whether you like it or not, you will be older and you will most likely still need money to live. Your job now is to help the future you prepare. 

I’m not saying it’s not a challenge, it is! But know that there is a path to retirement and the earlier you start, the better. It may be a tough concept to wrap your head around, but retirement can be a terrific reward for all the hard work you do today.

This 1 Habit will be Key to Your Future Wealth

April 23, 2019
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When asked, most of us will be looking for the best way to become wealthy in order to live a comfortable life. But what do most people do? – Nothing.

People tend to dream for a comfortable life and wait to get “Lucky” in life. But unless we give our life opportunity to get “Lucky”, it will most likely never happen.

The fundamental that everyone can do to boost their wealth is focusing on Cash Flow, the simple equation of spending versus earning.

In other words, like i mention again and again, you need to spend less than you earn.

Once you have the ability to spend less than you earn from your after-tax earnings, you will have some cash to invest to give yourself chances to get “Lucky”.

If you spend all your earnings, there will be nothing left to invest. This is what most people says living from paycheck to paycheck.

There is a big difference between saving $5000 a year and $10000 a year or even $20000 a year. Someone with $5000 a year saving will have to be a highly skilled investor in order to keep up with someone who can save $10000 or $20000 a year.

Which person will generate wealth quicker? someone who earns $100,000 a year and spend $95,000 or someone who earns 60,000 a year and only spends $50,000?

You got that right! over a period of time, the lower spending individual will actually retire earlier because he or she would only need less wealth to support the expenses.

In saying that, it doesn’t mean that you do not spend your dollars at all. The idea is to spend less than you earn on necessities and things that make you truly happy.

Once you have mastered this new habit of spending less than you earn, you can focus on earning good returns by investing in quality and make the dollars work for you.

The Trouble is You Think You Have Time

March 13, 2019
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I was raised in small countryside of North Sumatera, Indonesia. Life in there was very traditional and from what I can recall, no one has mentioned or teach us about anything about investing. Although there are many wealthy people, they mostly inherited business and wealth from their parents or grandparents.

Most successful businesses that the locals own are pig farms, chicken farms, catfish farms and owning the palm oil fields. One of my friend whose dad is very successful in all of these fields once told me that, the chicken’s wastes were enough to pay all their employees. The waste was sold to a fertiliser manufacturer and generated enough to pay the workers and more.

My dad tried to get involved in the chicken farm business. However, he woke up one day only to find all the chicken have died because of the disease. His venture and dream to be a successful chicken farm owner shattered that day.

My dad used to work for his uncle and earned a minimum income and he had to support his mom (my grandmother), 5 of his siblings plus his own family, mom, my sister and myself. That was about 30 years ago but i guess the cost of living are quite low back then. But imagine having to put bread on the plate for 10 people with such a low wage.

I appreciate dad so much for what he has done and sacrificed for us. However, nobody has ever thought him how to invest or pay himself first. Throughout his business and working life, together with my mom, he had a few pay rises and other business opportunities which generated them quite significant amount of money. However, that did not make them rich.

After I read books about personal development and investing, I began to understand the rules of money and what everyone should do to be financially free. I learn why my parents aren’t getting rich is because of their lack of financial education.

I remember my mom’s spending habits where she would purchase many antiques, plants, furnitures, and many more. Those items that she purchased depreciates in values and today, most of the items that she purchased has either gone to the wasteland or given to her friends and family.

If instead, she invested the money, I believe she would be very comfortable right now and never depends on her children to give her money. I am not saying that she should not purchase any of those, but if she is financially educated, she would budget her money and spend only a small percentage of their household income.

Us humans tend to think that money is a renewable resources and there will be another income coming in again the following month, this type of thinking can delay or erase our chance of being able to retire.

Most people will spend their money as they come and never invest any of it. When crisis comes, these people will be hit hard which could result in bankruptcy. 

Below is the formula I personally use to budget my income, of course you can do it differently if you like.

10% Investing
10% Giving
10% Holiday
10% Hobby / Splurge
10% Long term saving
50% Daily expenses (house payments, foods, utilities, etc)

Before you invest and save for holidays, I would suggest you to hose down any high interest loans like credit cards, personal loans and car loans as such loans comes with high interests. Again, this is my personal opinion only, you are free to customise the plans to suit your situations. 

The key is to start NOW! We should manage what we currently have, not tomorrow, not next week, not next month. We need to start budgeting and spend less that we earn now before it is too late.

In our young age, we have to take advantage of compounding, when we get older, the power of compounding is getting weaker and weaker. Therefore, it is better to start investing early.

How Habits Change Your Future

March 12, 2019
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Our habits can either make us successful or make us become a failure in life.

With a little change of magnitude or a change of a small degree of an airplane’s nose direction, the destination of the airplanes will change significantly thus it will arrive to a different location from it was originally planned. Same goes to our life, by changing our daily behaviours and habits, the long term impact will be significant.

In a corner of one of the NBA teams San Antonio Spurs’ locker room, there is a framed quotation from a Danish-American social reformer Jacob Riis.

“When nothing seems to help, I go back and look at the stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it — but all that had gone before.”

Sometimes when we go to the gym, we do not see the immediate result where our muscle started to grow in a day or two, not even a week. However, if we keep working out at the gym, the result will gradually appear from our body shape,  extra energy and improved health from the work out we have been doing.

Many people is too easy to stop pursuing their goals as they do not see the quick result. Hence, research shows that only 5 – 8% of people are successful in life, some experts claimed the figure is even less percentage than that.

When I decided to take action and start investing my money into the sharemarket at year 2016, I can see my investment portfolio started to grow, I didn’t start with much money to invest. I started with $500 and I tried to top it up every month.

Today, my share portfolio has grown in a rate of about 34% per year. The key is to start now. Either investing or changing your bad habits to the good. Like Nike says “Just Do It!”.

There’s a story about the 2 wolves that live inside us. An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

The moral of the story is that, we have to start feeding our good habit so it can take charge of your life and getting rid of the bad habit slowly. Make your life busy by learning something new, something useful which can shape your destiny, something that can make a huge impact to the people around you, read books, find a mentor, starve the evil wolf inside us.

Our life condition will not change overnight, but like the stone-cutter, if we start taking the small steps and persistent, the rock that has been blocking our way to success will eventually break.

What actions and habits are you going to start now?

Recent Posts

  • Cutting Out the Noise, Say “No”
  • Six Anti-Success Habits
  • The Retirement Challenge
  • This 1 Habit will be Key to Your Future Wealth
  • The Trouble is You Think You Have Time

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